Truth Happens

Truth Happens

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Truth List

• Taoism: Truth happens.
  
• Confucianism: Confucius say, "Truth happens."
  
• Buddhism: If truth happens, it isn't really truth.
  
• Zen Buddhism: Truth is, and is not.
  
• Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of truth happening?
  
• Hinduism: This truth has happened before.
  
• Islam #1: If truth happens, it is the will of Allah.
  
• Islam #2: If truth happens, blame Israel.
  
• Catholicism: If truth happens, you deserve it.
  
• Protestantism: Let truth happen to someone else.
  
• Presbyterian: This truth was bound to happen.
  
• Episcopalian: It's not so bad if truth happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
  
• Methodist: It's not so bad if truth happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
  
• Congregationalist: Truth that happens to one person is just as good as truth that happens to another.
  
• Unitarian: Truth that happens to one person is just as bad as truth that happens to another.
  
• Lutheran: If truth happens, don't talk about it.
  
• Fundamentalism #1: If truth happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
  
• Fundamentalism #2: Truth must be born again.
  
• Judaism: Why does this truth always happen to us?
  
• Calvinism: Truth happens because you don't work.
  
• Seventh Day Adventism: No truth shall happen on Saturday.
  
• Creationism: God made all truth.
  
• Secular Humanism: Truth evolves.
  
• Christian Science #1: When truth happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
  
• Christian Science #2: Truth happening is all in your mind.
  
• Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this truth.
  
• Quakers: Let us not fight over this truth.
  
• Utopianism: This truth does not stink.
  
• Darwinism: This truth was once food.
  
• Capitalism: That's MY truth.
  
• Communism: It's everybody's truth.
  
• Feminism: Men are truth.
  
• Chauvinism: We may be truth, but you can't live without us...
  
• Commercialism: Let's package this truth.
  
• Impressionism: From a distance, truth looks like a garden.
  
• Idolism: Let's bronze this truth.
  
• Existentialism: Truth doesn't happen; truth IS.
  
• Existentialism #2: What is truth, anyway?
  
• Stoicism: This truth is good for me.
  
• Hedonism: There is nothing like a good truth happening!
  
• Mormonism #1: God sent us this truth.
  
• Mormonism #2: This truth is going to happen again.
  
• Wiccan: An it harm none, let truth happen.
  
• Scientology: If truth happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
  
• Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Truth happens.
  
• Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our truth?
  
• Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Truth has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
  
• Moonies: Only really happy truth happens.
  
• Hare Krishna: Truth happens, rama rama.
  
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this truth!
  
• Zoroastrianism: Truth happens half on the time.
  
• Church of SubGenius: BoB truths.
  
• Practical: Deal with truth one day at a time.
  
• Agnostic #1: Truth might have happened; then again, maybe not.
  
• Agnostic #2: What is this truth?
  
• Satanism: SNEPPAH HTURT.
  
• Atheism #1: What truth?
  
• Atheism #2: I can't believe this truth!
  
• Nihilism: No truth.

And now openSuSE is beginning to get it.